This is a rather strange idea that I’ve been tinkering
with, and which I thought you might appreciate, even if only for its stupidity
and awfulness. It’s probably not the most original idea in the world, but if
you did want to borrow one of those “airy Trilby and white coat” combinations
from your local friendly supermarket employee and present it at one of your
theatrical “smokers”, and let me know if it works, I wouldn’t mind in the
slightest…
So, if you really like your Shakespeare extra cheesy...
HENRY BRIE
O! For a wheel of Cheddar, Lymeswold ascend
The finest Edam or Emmental,
A Derby that is Sage, Stilton to eat,
And mouth holes to devour the Cheshire cheese!
Wensleydale, Wild Garlic Yarg, all himself,
Consume the Port Salut; and upon wheels,
Brie must abound, should cottage, cream and
sliced
Not be considered. But peppered, and flavoured
all,
These fatty casein coagulants have tastes
For these unworthy cheeses bring forth
So great a flavour: can this counter hold
The tasty yields of France? Camembert!
Under this very cloche the Gruyère
That did delight the air of Appledore?
(Belches)
O pardon! since one Dairylea may
Recall a million dairy products;
Havarti, Gouda, through to Lancashire,
Gorgonzola, Stilton, Roquefort.
Suppose amidst all this fine cheese
Are now refined two taste extremes,
Perhaps Danish Blue and Leicester Red ,
Their strong flavours the wise cheese keeper
parts:
Laid out on paper plates for you to sample;
A thousand cheeses known to man,
And made most Caerphilly;
Drink wine and think of cheeses, that you eat
them
Stinking Bishop, Halloumi, Babybel
Feta, Urda, Parmesan, Leerdammer,
Carry them here, Farmhouse! Double Gloucester!
Turning the accompaniment of so much cheese
Into a wine glass; with which to try
Allow me to suggest a mature Cheddar;
A Manchego, and some wood-smoked Bavarian,
And so for our cheeseboard, it is done.
From an original opening chorus by Mr William Shakespeare
(with just a dash of flavouring by Mr Martin A W Holmes to ruin the
taste…)
http://m-a-w-h.blogspot.co.uk/
